Ada and Tzilah--Multifunction. Perspective on Marriage
The Medrash in Bereishis Raba 23 discusses the two wives of Lemech, Ada and Tzilah. The Medrash describes the marriges of Lemech to them as marriges for different purposes. Tzilah was a beautiful woman and Lemech wanted her to remain beautiful. Lemech did not want to destroy Tzilah's beauty by allowing her to get pregnant so he kept her on birth control (Kos shel Ikrin) as it was practiced 4,000+ years ago. On the other hand, Ada, was the wife for children. The name Ada is explained by the mefarshim as either being the wife that is not by the husband's side (Idui in Aramaic means to be removed) or as in A'adi which means pregnant in Aramaic (also from being away-see the meforshei Onkelos as to what A'adi has to do with pregnancy)
The Medrash continues to say that having two wives, one for relations and one for procreation was common practice during the years preceding the Mabul. It seems from the Medrash that it was in fact one of the reasons for the Mabul and seemingly was considered a terrible practice. I am not sure what was such a terrible practice about it. Was it a problem in not having children with the beautiful wife? Was the problem that they weren't treating the other wife properly? Why was it considered such a drastic problem that it wrought a Mabul on the world?
It would seem that the Similar to the disadvantages of multi-functional office equipment, any multi-functional product has its drawbacks. Primarily trying to get as many functions out of one product, the user will have to compromise on the quality of the output of each individual function and effectively accept a lower standard of overall quality, basically sacrificing quality for quantity. If a man is looking to find a soul-mate that has to meet many criteria of "functionality" compromising quality of some of those criteria to meet the others would be inevitable. Why not separate the functions and search for top quality candidates for each specific function rather than looking for the best combination of qualities?
Maybe the explanation is that when it comes to marriage that whole approach is erroneous. If a man wanted a "Pilegesh" or a mistress, that would be fine. Marry your soulmate and find whatever you think is missing in your marriage with a mistress. Right or wrong, the world would not be destroyed and a mabul would not be wrought upon the world if man in general lived in such a society. The problem was the erroneous perception of marriage. When it comes to Ishus/Marriage the approach has to be totally different. Just like when God removed the rib from Adam Harishon and he said "Zos Hapa'am Etzem Me'Atami Ubasar Mi'Bsari" this time my wife/soulmate is an intrinsic part of my being, when a man gets married he has to see his wife as part of himself. When man sees himself he doesn't see himself as a collection of qualities some good some bad but rather as himself. He has to look for a wife that he will have that same recognition and appreciation as himself. That is an integral part of marriage. One can marry two wives, no problem. But to both he has to have the same attitude as whole people just like he is himself. You want to be the best package possible for yourself and obviously want the best package in a wife, granted. However, she is more than the sum of the parts once you walk down that aisle. If she remains just a package of specific qualities even after the marriage then the whole structure of marriage has been destroyed.
Destroying the definition of the family was the sin of the generation of the mabul. Just like they were punished for homosexual behavior which understandably destroyed the institution of the family so was the approach of Lemech in trying to marry as if he was living with a group of mistresses.
The Medrash continues to say that having two wives, one for relations and one for procreation was common practice during the years preceding the Mabul. It seems from the Medrash that it was in fact one of the reasons for the Mabul and seemingly was considered a terrible practice. I am not sure what was such a terrible practice about it. Was it a problem in not having children with the beautiful wife? Was the problem that they weren't treating the other wife properly? Why was it considered such a drastic problem that it wrought a Mabul on the world?
It would seem that the Similar to the disadvantages of multi-functional office equipment, any multi-functional product has its drawbacks. Primarily trying to get as many functions out of one product, the user will have to compromise on the quality of the output of each individual function and effectively accept a lower standard of overall quality, basically sacrificing quality for quantity. If a man is looking to find a soul-mate that has to meet many criteria of "functionality" compromising quality of some of those criteria to meet the others would be inevitable. Why not separate the functions and search for top quality candidates for each specific function rather than looking for the best combination of qualities?
Maybe the explanation is that when it comes to marriage that whole approach is erroneous. If a man wanted a "Pilegesh" or a mistress, that would be fine. Marry your soulmate and find whatever you think is missing in your marriage with a mistress. Right or wrong, the world would not be destroyed and a mabul would not be wrought upon the world if man in general lived in such a society. The problem was the erroneous perception of marriage. When it comes to Ishus/Marriage the approach has to be totally different. Just like when God removed the rib from Adam Harishon and he said "Zos Hapa'am Etzem Me'Atami Ubasar Mi'Bsari" this time my wife/soulmate is an intrinsic part of my being, when a man gets married he has to see his wife as part of himself. When man sees himself he doesn't see himself as a collection of qualities some good some bad but rather as himself. He has to look for a wife that he will have that same recognition and appreciation as himself. That is an integral part of marriage. One can marry two wives, no problem. But to both he has to have the same attitude as whole people just like he is himself. You want to be the best package possible for yourself and obviously want the best package in a wife, granted. However, she is more than the sum of the parts once you walk down that aisle. If she remains just a package of specific qualities even after the marriage then the whole structure of marriage has been destroyed.
Destroying the definition of the family was the sin of the generation of the mabul. Just like they were punished for homosexual behavior which understandably destroyed the institution of the family so was the approach of Lemech in trying to marry as if he was living with a group of mistresses.
posted by funnyfundamentalist at 2:55 PM
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